We have had Toad Trouble here at the Myrtle Beach Cat Ranch before.

Several weeks ago as we returned from a night of karaoke on a Friday night, a fat and obnoxious toad tried to gain access to the inner sanctum. As I tried to shoo it away toward the grassy copse just a few yards to the left of the door, the angry amphibian bashed its fat, flabby body against the door in a desperate attempt to break through. I managed to pick it up and deposit it on the grass.

Last night as we got home from another lovely evening of singing and drinking, there in the middle of the concrete hallway leading to the apartment…

A large, angry toad. Hell bent for revenge it would seem.

He sat there, upright and proud. From a distance, he looked like an errant dog turd left by a negligent neighbor.

Then he started hopping toward me.

It was not a leisurely hop. The toad was charging at me.

This threw me for a loop. As an Iowa boy, I have experience with toads. They tend to run away from you.

This one was running AT me. Ramming speed.

HOP! HOP! HOP! HOP! HOP! HOP!

He reached the wheels of my walker, leaped between my feet, and took up a position behind my heels. It seemed like he thought he was going to bring me to ground by bashing against my ankles.

I kept walking, I didn’t turn around to see if he was following me. I didn’t want to give him satisfaction.

By the door, pressed up against the bottom… a smaller toad. Motionless. I’m guessing, the wife?

I’m borderline afraid to go out this morning.